Things only an infertile would get....

Today on the infertility board I frequent, a woman came for advice on how to be sensitve to her sister in law who has been trying for 5 years. First, this post irked me because she was saying how blessed she was to get pregnant right off and how she has a beautiful son now and how she doesn't know if she should wait to have number 2 till sister in law and her hubby get pregnant or decided to adopt. this bothers me because while yes, all babies are blessings and miracles, the pregnancies are not. When I get pregnant after 3 years and using all the medical means the infertile world has to offer, than it’s a friggin miracle. And about not having another till they get a child, that’s just silly, the sister in law would feel guilty and it would give you more of resentment for the sister in law which brings me to point 2.

`Second,  she says that she is hurt that sister in law hasn’t come to spend time with her son. She is the aunt and should be there. Well let me tell you something. No one owes your child or you anything. Just because you had him and she is his aunt does not mean she always has to be around. This really annoys me because I have dealt with it also. Until you go through the pain of not being able to get pregnant and wanting something so bad, you do not get to tell me how to feel. As a matter of fact you NEVER get to tell me how to feel. See this is the problem everybody thinks they’re entitled to something and that everyone owes them something. They think because they have children the family revolves around them. Guess what? It is does not. Only you and your partner’s lives revolve around your child certainly not mine or my husbands. I hate being made to feel like I owe time to someone.

                Another thing that was not in the post, but still bugs the hell out of me, having family holidays revolve around certain families that have children. My life doesn’t revolve around your children (like stated before) it is the holiday’s things that come once a year. If your child doesn’t have a nap at the same time as every other day it isn’t going to kill them, and its rude to make things all about you…again.

 

So maybe I am being hard at these easy baring children family members, but I am justifying my actions by blaming my medication that I am taking to gear up to do a cycle and try to get pregnant with the children I may never have,  give me a break.