Protocol for IVF #2!!1

Sorry it has been so long since I updated last. It looks like I will be pretty much cycling through December. Here's what my schedule looks like:

BCP 11/18-12/14
Lupron 12/14
Baseline ultrasound 12/27
Start Stims 12/29
lab work 1/2
ultrasound/ lab work 1/4
andd.....potential procedure 1/7!!!!

I really hope things go better this time. It really is perfect timing, I will be in between semesters so I wont have to worry about school. I will have sometime off of work So I think I will just take the week off. This would put us in late September early October range for due date which is the fall and insidently my most favorite time of year.

Super Busy!

I have been swamped lately! Practices started for my Cheerleading squad this week and we are doing 2 hours every night. I have been thinking about the squad none stop for almost 2 weeks now. The coach last year really sucked and lets face it she was a bitch. She sat around and didn't participate with the girls at all. So needless to say there were some who were apprehensive to sign up, even with a new coach. pair that with the fact that a girl who originally signed up backed out because there was a mentally disabled girl on the squad, oh it gets better, she than went around and started telling other girls not to cheer because of said disabled girl. And even better than that? The disabled girl is my husband's little sister! I was livid when I found out. The girl saying these awful things was also supposed to be my little sister in laws friend. Thankfully she didn't hear what this malicious girl was saying. It was brought to the Athletic Directors attention as well as the Assistant Principal, however there wasn't enough evidence to suggest she actually said anything.

So all of that made a really slow start to my season. Monday I had 2 girls show up, Tuesday I had 6 and today I have 8 (possibly 9) girls and 1 boy on my squad!! I could not be happier. although teaching the boy will be interesting, this is maybe the second time in school history ( really small one town school) that we have ever had a boy on the squad, but he is awesome and a great asset to the squad.
I have CPR certification on Tuesday night. 2 online classes for certification that my school dubs mandatory plus an away rules review in the next 2 weeks. top that off with Thanksgiving next week and getting our tree that weekend makes me a busy lady. I am happy to keep busy because the time will pass that much faster for treatment.
On the treatment front we are really at a standstill until I get my period. I am patiently waiting, so if the meds don't mess it up I should have it in the next couple of days! I will than get my protocol from my nurse and most likely go on birth control and get at least my baseline blood work and ultrasound done.

Other things to focus on!

My sister got engaged on her birthday this past September and it was very exciting and kind of a surprise. Her fiance is amazing, he treats her and here daughter like princesses. My sister was married before to a real idiot, so the whole family is excited for her this time around. She has decided to go with a big wedding, she wants this wedding to be completely different from her last one. She really deserves this and I couldn't be happier for her! So after going to a bridal expo today, her and her fiance came over to my parents house to start making plans. They decided that the wedding is going to be August 17, 2013! This is awesome, but a little nerve wracking all at once. They have the call into the venue they want so hopefully it will be available.
I am happy because this will give me something else to focus on while we are in between cycles. it is also such a joyous event we all can't help but be giddy! However, with her only having 10 months to plan this wedding we really need to get going. But that all will come together, today I am happy and very excited for it to grow once again. I love wedding planning and can't wait to see what my sister's plans are!

In between

I am feeling much better today, although it still stings a little. I think I'm just antsy to get started again. My nurse and I have been emailing back and forth and she said that more than likely I would be starting BCP when I get my period in the next couple of weeks. I don't like this in between crap. I don't like feeling like I am not proactive in getting pregnant. My doctor called yesterday and she said she wanted to talk about my cycle with the team at the next team meeting, so hopefully that will be happening in the next 2 weeks so I can get going as soon as possible. I figured out based on the amount of time of my last cycle that I will be cutting it close while they are on break, but with them changing things I really don't know where I stand, however I can be on BCP for a while so that's good the DR can manipulate my schedule to work with the schedule at the hospital.

I also spent all day with my niece today. It was definitely much needed. She is a great cuddlier and she just puts a smile on my face when I am with her!

Depression

Last night I felt more depressed than I have felt in a long time. My husband and I when we got out of high school got an apartment together. It was hard living together for the first time and figuring out how to live with another person and pay bills so needless to say it was stressful. He ended up breaking up with me and moving out. I was devastated and this was the last time I had felt this bone numbing can't eat or sleep depression. Obviously we got back together, eventually got married and have a healthy relationship. but I hate having that feeling again, it is something I don't  know how to get passed. My nurse did call me back and she said I will be starting BCP's with my next period and they do think they will have a plan for me soon so that is a ray of hope and with starting the BCP I won't feel like I am sitting around waiting and not doing anything.
Even though it is the holiday season I really hope to take off the 20 lbs I have been working on for a while now. through out our IVF cycle I put on almost 10lbs and I really would like to take that off before the next cycle so that is my focus before the next cycle. Plus my coaching starts Monday so that will keep me really busy as well. I am thankful that the mini break will be happening during the holidays so time will fly by.
I have to add as well that Jon has been AWESOME through this. He does not share his feelings at all and I just started crying when I found out about the immature eggs. He didn't say anything at first just hugged me and than said we will keep trying and this isn't it for us. I asked him if he was ready to go in January and he said he was ready when I was. He knows how much it hurts to be around his sister in law for me right now and he constantly rubbed my arm or held my hand. He is my rock and I know he is hurting too, but he has been taking care of me. I can say that even though we have dealt with this our relationship is so much stronger because of it. I love this man to death and it sometimes takes hard stuff like this to happen for me to realize how much I really do appreciate him.

Fert Report

Nothing. We have nothing. The one egg we had did not develop and none of the other 4 matured enough. I am so heart broken and start crying at random times. The nurse said that they will sit down on Friday and go over everything with a fine tooth comb and come up with a new plan. I asked her how soon we could cycle again and she said not until January because they don't do IVF during the holidays. So we are in limbo again. I was really hoping this was it. Jon said we will do it again in January,which is awesome he is ready to get right back into the game, but this just sucks so bad and I am devistated. On the plus side, I don't need a ton of new medication because some of the stuff I have left over can be saved. So this is it for now.

What a effin roller coaster

So I had my ER today, I knew we would have around 7-8 per what the nurse told me on Saturday. We got there and was immediately brought back to the procedure room.  My nurse came in and explained everything to me and told me another nurse would be in to do my IV, I am very scared of IVs. I have only had one before and the woman had such a hard time finding my veins and ended up causing me pain and she bruised the crap out of my arm. Anyways, low and behold they had a hard time finding my veins today too.  it took 2 nurses to finally find a good place for an IV. They put me under and the last thing I remembered was looking at my nurses and doctor while they talked about the election. I woke up to my hubby and one of my nurses sitting next to me. I felt pretty good and didn't really have pain till I started moving around. I got some crackers and water, changed my clothes and I was ready to go. Jon went to give his sample and than within a half an hour after waking up, we were out of there!
After voting we went to my inlaws because Jon's brother came from LA to look at a place he is planning on doing a movie at. I was lounging on the couch for about an hour and the doctor who did the retrieval called. out of the 5 eggs they got NONE of them were mature enough for fertilization. I was floored, angry and just wanted to cry. The doctor did say that they will closely monitor them and there is a possibility they can mature enough to be fertilized. Of course there is a down side, because Jon has anti sperm antibodies, the sample they froze that he gave today may not be good if the eggs do mature enough. I am not too worried about this because it's easy enough to just drive back up and give a fresh sample.

So again a couple of hours later I realized I had missed a call from my nurse. ONE EGG FERTILIZED!! We have at least one at this point and I couldn't be more thrilled. She also said that that one grew in just a couple of hours so there is hope for the other 4 eggs. At this point we are just praying that this roller coaster will stop, my mood has been high and than very low. 

Any extra thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated for our one embie and 4 remaining eggs!

....

Holy shit I am going in for my ER today!! I really haven't slept so I got up at 5am. We don't have to leave until 6:15Am. I drank a lot of water last night because I couldn't have anything after midnight. Well after chugging that water at 11pm I was up peeing all night, about every 2 hours lol. I am glad my ER is so early in the morning because I'm not sure if I would have been able to do the no food and drink thing to later in the day! So I am up, dressed, and have everything to go. Oh except my husband, he is still sound asleep so he is all I am waiting for at this point.

Thoughts and prayers for some good eggs would be greatly appreciated!

Things are moving fast now!!

I went in to my monitoring appointment yesterday and I had 14 eggs on my left side and 7 on my right. only about 12 of those will be some what big enough for ER. I wasn't quite where they wanted me to be and really didn't know if ER would be Tuesday or Wednesday, so they made me come back in today. Now my doctors office is an hour and a half away so when I have monitoring appointments it kind of sucks because it is a long boring drive. Oh and I got lost yesterday because it was the first time I had driven up there by myself so I almost ended up in Canada lol! Anyways, they upped my dosage of Gonal-F to 150 U from 75U last night.
When I went in for monitoring today some of the eggs grew up to 3 mm! that is a good amount in only 24 hours. My nurse said she was pretty sure as long as my E2 came back higher that I would be going in for a Tuesday ER. I ended up calling the nurse before she called me because I was worried I hadn't heard anything. She said we are all set for ER at 9:15 Tuesday morning ( insert scared face here)! I have been thinking since the beginning of this cycle that we would be doing it this day so I am excited, but a little apprehensive. I have never had any sort of surgery, not even minor so this is a big deal for me plus this could be the week we get pregnant. I am also irrationally nervous because the nurse told me there are 3 other retrievals that day and I am afraid they are going to mix the eggs up or use the wrong sperm in my eggs. I know I'm a freak and think about the most extreme things lol.
So that is the update on me!